Oh! Ive actually done a bit of research on this! I found some scythe like weapon alternatives that work well as weapons while still maintaining the aesthetic!
First, let’s start with war picks, also known as horsemans picks, or nadziaks. they look like this to start:
these weapons were fucking INCREDIBLE at piercing through steel plate armor, and was highly used by calvary in the 17th century with origins in the middle east and europe, not only were these functional weapons, but they were good, your armor wouldn’t protect you from a swing of this, and its not like not wearing armor would do you any good.
next, would be zaghals, or for long, indian zaghal axes, which look like this
these were made for a similar use as the war pick, but it’s structured to be a sharper edge with a reinforced point, which allowed it to pierce through armor, like the war pick, but kept the sides sharper, allowing it to cut more effectively, and the handles on them are short and long depending on preference.
Next we have indo persian war hammers, which look like this:
These ones come closest to the scythe in visual terms in my opinion, and are also my favourite, these ones are still armor evicerating, but have a counterweight hammer on the other side, which helps stabilise the swing, and adds more momentum, along with being a hammer on the other side.
And finally, we have the war scythe, which looks like this.
i know what you’re thinking, and yeah! i agree! its not a scythe like weapon, its a bad looking spear! these were made when farmers found out that their farming scythes were pretty sucky weapons and did like shit, so they repositioned the blade on the pole to be more usable! I hate this and i didn’t want to include this, but i have to because one of you fucks will do a 3 second google search and ask “what about war scythes” because you think you know more than me! i hate this weapon!
Also, if giant sickles are more you’re speed, there’s the Ethiopian shotel
god i’ve been spending so much time on twitter where you have to carefully dance around saying certain things lest you get banned that it’s kind of nice to make the occasional return to tumblr where it’s completely lawless and unchecked and i can just outright say that terfs are cordially invited to gargle these nuts
I have also been spending entirely too much time on twitter and someone made fun of American children dying, defended the joke, and then called me a misogynist when I called her a cunt. Twitter is the bad place.
You know, probably my favorite part of the movie Hercules, besides all of the horridly inaccurate mythology and fun gospel music, is that Hercules was already super strong and didn’t need to work out. Phil just made him work out for the Hero Aesthetic™
Skinny arms don’t cut it, kid.
Only big arms will get you an action figure.
Never mind that you’ve been lifting houses since you were a toddler.
I still think that my favorite urban legend/folklore fact is that there are certain areas in New Orleans where you cannot get a taxi late at night not because it isn’t safe, but because taxi companies have had recurring problems of picking up ghosts in those areas who are not aware that they are dead and disappearing from the cab before reaching the destination and therefore stiffing the driver on the fare causing a loss for the company.
An occupational hazard of cab driving I had not previously considered
I love that the nola problem here is not “ghosts in my taxi cab,” but “ghosts are FUCKING BROKE DEAD BASTARDS & I GOT BILLS”
Horror is when ghosts get into cabs and scare drivers
Magical realism is when cab companies have to develop policies to prevent ghastly fare-theft
